Monday, November 16, 2009

Ad Hoc Or You Know You Can't Rush Love, Love

The speakers are currently sweating from repeated listenings of Disc One of Janet Jackson's new comp., "Number Ones." (Is it a new Jackson Family tradition to name your Best of "Number Ones"? And is it a must that said Jacksons then lie about it and put songs on said record that never even came close to that number? And does each Jackson then get bad medical advice and die when making the Big Comeback?) Answers to these and other crazy Jackson Family questions I'm sure will be answered on "In the Spotlight with Robin Roberts" tomorrow night. Hard-nosed journalism is what Robin "Ms. Roberts If You're Nasty" Roberts is known for. You should have seen her shake and crawl under her desk when she even hinted at asking Norah Jones about her break up with Lee Alexander this morning. I smell an Emmy.

Anywho, I likes this record. I'm putting on tube socks and doing the water sprinkler right now. 5 Stars.

Disc Two? Not so much. 2 Stars.

Speaking of Ms. Norah Jones, her new album' got me perplexed. I initially found it sounded like latter day R.E.M. with a Lanois production and a half-Indian, half-Black, all hot female lead singer. And it is that. But it's not the Grand Alternative Rock Departure some would have you believe. It's just Norah with a No-So-Handsome Band and that's alright. A week worth of listens have made me warm to it and at the end of the day, it's only 3 P.M. and my opinion could change five time before the witching. Right now, I like it. 14 Stars.

Congratulations to "Gossip Girl." You've made ménage à trois with a former Mouse House star boring and predictable. and worst of all, not sexy. Everyone knows you can't spell Lucy, Ethel and Fred without B-A-S-S. Grade-C

That last paragraph is the gayest thing I've ever written. Burn the rich!


  1. I don't understand your font disorientation. What is Gossip Girl? Is Janet the one that did "Centipede"? Where are my goddamn pants?