Saturday, November 7, 2009

The Reports Of My Death Are Greatly Exaggerated

So...four albums in, many hit singles, crazy ass crossover success and awards o'plenty, I can officially announce the death of my Carrie Underwood comeback sex-flick vehicle, "Carrie Under Wood". Sad day. Have not heard her new record and probably won't. Hurts too much. I'm sure it's a winner. 75 stars.

Heard the new Swell Season record this week and I have to say, I like the musical stylings of Van Morrison, too. I highly recommend "Tupelo Honey". 1 star.

Really enjoyed the premier of "V" despite the fact that I thought it was gonna be based on the Gary Louris/Kraig Johnson classic and not some '80's cheese-fi lizard porn. That's happened twice this season. I thought "Three Rivers" was about a vampire who plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers. 37 stars.

They sure remake a lot of shows these days. I'd like to take this time to announce my new re-boot of "Manimal" starring Kevin Sorbo and Jewel Staite.

The Yankees beat my beloved Phillies in the World Series. I now know what it feels like, when doves cry.

Built To Spill's got a new one. (1) It rocks. (2) Are you surprised? And (3) "Built To Spill' was going to be the sequel to "Carrie Under Wood". 16 stars.

Jermaine Dupri and 'Lil Wayne on the new Weezer? Smells like teen spirit. Kriss Kross will make ya....3 stars.

I offered up $10,001 for the rights to the "Terminator" franchise this week. So I'm that much closer to my dream. "Terminator : Mall Cop".

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