Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Blog Wars 2: The Empire Eats Crack

I love my brother, but he hates Josh Homme. Seriously, Ran would drink the water in that bottle and throw a brick at his head if he ever saw him out. Ran even hated that Songs for the Deaf record. AND THAT HAD LANEGAN ON IT! Ran's blog A- The part about Them Crooked Vultures B- just like the record itself.

I actually meant to mention Lady GaGa in that last blog. Ran touched on it, but let me expand. Suicide has never been caused by great performance art outside of Marilyn Manson. Plus... bitch got hooks. That "Bad Romance" video is like a visitor from 1985 (the "Wild Boys" era of video). I made fun of her until she provided the single entertaining moments on SNL this season. Then I started listening. Remember how I said, "she's interesting but I'll never buy her record"? That holds true; but you should remember that in this economy, I don't pay for shit. No grade for "Bad Romance", but I've watched the video 10 times. I'll probably watch it again when I link it to this blog. Let's just say Lady GaGa is auditing my brain, not taking the class for a grade.

The remake of The Prisoner on AMC plays like David Lynch's production assistant watched the first episode of the original while drunk on absinthe after which he got really ill and puked all over my television screen. The dialogue is stupid, the visuals are headache inducing and it appears that no one involved in this horrible catastrophe of a show ever watched one episode of the original. F for fuckall

Imma let you finish Oakland Raiders, but the Tennessee Titans have the BEST CRAZY OLD GUY OWNER OF THE YEAR!

Ran's dead on about that Sherlock Holmes shit. Even the de-coked re-awesomed Robert Downey Jr.doesn't make me pay to view Guy Ritchie making Snitch with American-friendly accents in the Queen's English. I may go see Iron Man 2, though, cape or no. What the hell am I saying? I almost missed Inglourious Basterds on the big screen, and I LOVE Tarantino. I never go to the movies.

PS to David Lynch's drunk assistant: come unsee that shit for me, right now, you hack. I want my hour back. Watching TV is serious business around here, and I don't have time to waste.

Lastly, regarding Ran's verbal asskicking of NBC a few weeks ago, he is mostly 100% correct. The Office is in the toilet with only minimal moments of funny and the Leno horror is legend. Where our opinions differ are on Community featuring that guy from The Soup and Trudy from Mad Men. Hey, it's a blog, I don't research crap. That show is the funniest thirty minutes on television outside of HBO hands down. Well except when Chevy Chase is on the screen. Oh, except this bit here. Community - solid A "Gettin' Rid of Britta" - A+++++++++++

Anything that makes fun of douchebag white boy reggae is aces with me. On that note, a parting shot... thanks to the court system for sparing us that Sublime reunion. Way to get one right.

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